As the world opens up I find myself wondering if we all truly just went through a global pandemic together. Everyone seems to have tossed off the habits that we just recently created and are forging ahead without looking back, in a way that makes the whole previous year seem like a fantastical fable. The only traces of crisis are stunted, awkward interactions as we navigate through a world where no one is sure how quite how to show up. Inside or outside? Masked or unmasked? Shaking hands or bumping elbows?
But these seem to be surface-level stand-ins for the true wrestling that our souls are doing as we meet again. I feel the ache in my chest that longs to ask the one, true question: How did we do taking care of each other, and will we continue caring for each other now? My fear is that we will choose to put the pain behind us and not acknowledge everything that was uncovered about how the vulnerable around us were effected by this once in a generation unveiling of cracks in our system.
I wonder if we can have the hard conversations. Who did you lose, either to the virus or the effects of the virus, where people could not get the care they needed or visits from family and friends? What did you lose — your work or your patience or your sense of community? What was there to gain from this time, and who paid the price for that? Can we “go back” to the way things were before or would that negate all that we could learn about the systems that don’t exist for the people who need it most? Is the way things were before what we really want going into the future?
I love the fact that so many of us reevaluated our priorities and reconnected with friends and family and personal passions in ways that feed us and bring us joy. That is definitely something to keep close as the world around us changes. Having a new appreciation for the simple things in life is always a good reset. Can we also decide that the barriers that stand in the way of others doing the exact same thing are simply unacceptable? Can the small actions that we took to care for each other translate into a way of life that is reflected in the way things are done, locally, nationally, and globally?
I know that things need to get broken in order to be put back together better and stronger, and I just wonder if we spent so much energy trying hold everything together that we can’t bear to examine the pieces that need a close look in order to make lasting changes.
I went to a memorial picnic this past weekend to celebrate my husband’s “aunt” who was really just a close friend of the family if you only look at bloodlines. It was striking to see the visceral way that the generations had realigned in the absence of the person who used to captain the family ship. During Covid, a new baby was born extremely prematurely and was in a separate hospital for 3 months, overlapping the time my husband’s aunt was in another hospital during her last days, so they were never able to meet. Now this little girl, still struggling with the effects of her early birth, represents both the struggles of the present and the hope for the future. I was careful to check in with the new parents and grandparents caring for her, to make sure they knew that they didn’t have to pretend that all was well, but it was hard for them to not just focus on the optimistic possibilities ahead.
It can be difficult to hold two things that can be true at the same time. I hope we are able to say that we are glad things are getting back to the way things were while also being ready to move into a new normal, one that is not feared but looked upon so that hope and hard work go together to create a world that cares for all.
Change is something that is happening all the time, and we were recently all served a highly accelerated version. I’ve always thought David Bowie was singing “Turn and face the strain” in his song “Changes,” and maybe that’s fitting for where we are right now. Can we do that, and come out the other side better than we knew we could be? I sure hope so.