By Kerry Williams
Here we are, circling back into November again! This November feels like many before it, but also seems like it could hold new possibilities. I’m sure that, like for many of us, there’s fatigue over entering flu and cold season with the threat of Covid over our heads, and yet it was only a short time ago that we were living with the helplessness that there was nothing we could do to prevent any illness at all. I do better when I know there’s some action I can take, even if there’s not a guaranteed outcome. I think times like these have led me to gratitude with attitude.
I used to worry that I was fooling myself into thankfulness when I compared one situation to another, like it was cheating to say, “well, at least it’s not as bad as it could be!” Living has brought the wisdom that it’s not only the perfect outcome that deserves praise. Micro-thanks along the way doesn’t mean I’ve taken my eye off the prize, in fact, it adds to the overall gratitude I feel about the process AND the end product! I used to hold back thanks from myself, from others, and from God until a task was complete, thinking that any positive acknowledgement would somehow derail the motivation to keep an effort going. I was much more likely to extend gratitude toward a life lesson that I learned through failure than allow myself and others to feel the buoying effect of thankfulness for small wins.
I used to send out a card each Thanksgiving to someone I felt had helped me get to where I am in life, and that’s a really nice gesture, to be sure. It wasn’t a real risk though, because what I was doing was taking the outcome I liked, giving it plenty of time to make sure everything turned out, and then praising an effort I appreciated. Now I work on finding the little sparks that could lead to something great, and give them their due in the moment, without needing to know whether or not they reach their potential. These days I try to approach gratitude as one of those actions I can take that feels like progress, rather than a precious gem I’m giving away because I wasn’t up to the task of doing something without help. I’m not always perfect at this new approach, but I do find myself tapping into the power of feeling grateful and sharing that with those around me more easily. There’s a zest for putting more gratitude into the world that I resisted before, and frankly I’m thankful for it!